Survivor: Gabon- She Obviously is Post-Op! (Ep3)

Things are heating up in Gabon! The game is appearing to level out between the two tribes for the time being. Who would have EVER thought that the Thong (aka Fang) tribe would come away with any victory at all? I was shocked…like, for serious. While they did manage to pull out not one, but TWO challenge victories, they are still a horrendous tribe full of mostly unlikable people. Our opening scene shows us that GC is a very immature kid who whines a lot, and Randy thinks he’s an idiot. So do we Randy, so do we. Thanks for being the voice of reason! Randy rocks, by the way.

The reward challenge was one of my favorites, last seen in the Cook Islands. Candice--*swoons*--totally OWNED this challenge and I have loved it ever since, lol. One tribe member wraps themselves around a pole, and two people from the other tribe must rip them off it and drag them through a field of mud and cross a line. The first tribe to three wins. Well, Ace was in Kota-self-destruction mode and was like “hey Paloma, you should go.” Very. Bad. Idea. At this point, Kota was up one point and only needed 2 more. It was just a reward, and it got Ace exactly what he wanted. Paloma was ripped right off that pole and dragged across the line in less than a minute. “Hey everyone! Look how weak Paloma is!”

Thong comes away with a win due to the utter beastliness of Crystal, the former Olympic track runner. She’s huge. HUGE! Anyways, back at camp, Ace made sure to point out how pathetic Paloma was. Hm, I wonder who it was that said she should go out there. ACE. Ace bothers me, and not even because I liked Paloma. He’s just phony.

Over at Exile Dock (lets face it…there’s no island), Jessica (I can’t call her Sugar…it’s stupid) is on the hunt for the immunity idol. Apparently she pulls her strength from her father, who passed away. She cries a lot, but who are we to judge? Bada-bing-bada-boom, she finds the idol in like a half hour. The buzz online says that Dan (last week’s exiler) should feel stupid, but in reality, Jessica’s clue gave her a map, and Dan just got the words. That’s a pretty big clue, lol. *Don’t tell Ace about the idol! Don’t tell Ace about the idol!* CRAPDANGIT. I just died a little inside. WHY JESSICA WHY?!

The immunity challenge looked like SO MUCH FUN. Who doesn’t love a slip-n-slide? They shot down the slide into the water to gather puzzle pieces, and brought them back so that Bill Nye the Science Guy (aka Bob) and Annoying Gamer Dweeb (aka Ken) could do the math puzzle to open a box. Kota has a HUGE lead, but apparently Bill Nye doesn’t do math. Even though he’s a Physics teacher. Mmhmmm. Annoying Gamer Dweeb wins it for Thong and dances around like a buffoon. He bothers me in so many ways.

Chaos ensues over at Kota, where Paloma discusses how she’s going to “prounce” on Ace. I guess pounce+trounce=prounce? Hmm, I’ll have to ask Bob. OH WAIT! He sucks at math… Paloma first talked to mute Kelly about how much she hates Ace, and we the viewers are all agreed with her. Then she went to Corinne, who I’m convinced is the one running the show strategically, and put up a pretty decent fight.

At tribal council, we get some mindless drivel coming out of Kelly for the first time. I liked her better when I thought she was a mute. We also learn that Ace is not Paloma’s hero, and that they may have been brother and sister in another life “A thousand years ago…in another world…WHEN I’M DEAD.” Best survivor quote in a long, LONG, time, lol. Unfortunately for Paloma and Corinne, the rest of the Onion Alliance (Marcus, Charlie, Jacquieieie, and somewhat Bob) won’t buy it. Paloma goes home with a 7-2 vote. Kelly is such a waste, she doesn’t even know how to vote right.

What do you think of Ace? Is his accent real? Who are you pulling for? Survivor: Gabon airs on CBS at 8:00 eastern on Thursday nights.